The post Turning the Thanksgiving Table Upside Down: Adult Children and Aging appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

The post Turning the Thanksgiving Table Upside Down appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

Did you know that for many folks learning to play an instrument is the #1 on their bucket lists? Creativity doesn’t have an expiration date.

I really wanted to play the piano when I was little. I would go with Pammy, the girl next door and sit and listen to her lesson. She hated them, I loved just being in the same room with a piano. Our family couldn’t afford the lessons so my concert pianist career was denied. In college one of my dorm mates had to teach newbies for her degree, I finally put my fingers on the keys. Those five weeks were magical for me. Again not having a piano made learning the instrument difficult for me.

I understand for many men having a drum set in the basement is as big as purchasing the Mustang as a symbol of their so-called midlife crisis. When I was 50 I bought a drum. My drum is a Native American drum. It is stretched with elk skin and a drum stick of feathers and leather. I love my drum. I put music on and walk around the house beating to the bass. I make music. I create sound. It is a lot easier to carry around the house than a piano.

Then I met Jenny Robinson.  I hope you’ll take a gander at her website and youtube videos because she is amazing. She MAKES drums. Well actually they’re called handpans. The sound is exquisite, it’s other worldly.

It’s how your heart would sing outloud if we could hear it.

Jenny takes two sheets of steel, she bends it, she shapes it, she builds notes into the steel. The steel is heated, it responds to her touch.

The instrument was invented in 2000 in Switzerland as the proprietary Hang instrument until 2013. Instrument makers in Europe and the US began to make their own version and so Handpan was created. There are only about one hundred creators in the world and I got to meet one! How cool is that. She does workshops so be sure to let her know you’ll be interested in attending or playing on her handpan.

So how do you march to the beat of your “music”? One of my friends wants to start Ukele lessons at the Senior Center. Researchers have shown that as we age music can heal our bodies through the vibrations instruments create. Focus, patience, learning something new with an instrument all help with the skills we must have in our daily life. So regardless if you’re wanting to pick up the piano, the drum or the uke, try it you just might like it.

Do you make music? Do you listen to music? Have you prepared your song list? That list that your family and friends can play for you to tie you to your past some day? How has music impacted your life. Please come over to the Facebook page and leave some thoughts.

Contact: Jenny Robinson, Ithmus Instruments at isthmusinstruments@gmail.com

The post March to the Beat of Your Own Drum! appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

Gina, asked me last week about how she could fill up her time after retirement. Wow, that’s a question I hear a lot. There are 168 hours in a week and Gina has always known how to fill in 40 of them with work. Add another 56 hours for sleep and Gina could account for 57% of her week without taking out the hours for answering the email, hanging up on telemarketers and watching her favorite TV shows. Time, it’s all about time in those days, months and even years after we walk out our career-centric door.

In many ways retirement is like having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). You have been working in a variety of jobs for 20, 30 or 40+ years.

You may have had a retirement party, maybe you just rode off into the sunset. But, somewhere along the line you end up at your kitchen table thinking. All the thoughts, feelings or dreams related to all those work days come crashing down around you in the memories playing out in your head.

 You’ve got time to think.

The alarm clock is not rousing you from your bed. No one wonders where you are in the office. The couch is inviting you to sit. You are alone with your thoughts.

How scary is that. I know for myself, sitting in my PJs staring at HGTV for hours trying to make sense of this new phase of my life that didn’t include work was very very scary. How about you?

I meet lots of retirees who feel this way today. In coaching folks through the early months of retirement, people handle their personal retirement PTSD in a variety of ways.

So all this got me thinking about all those personality tests I’ve taken and given being a teacher. I began thinking how figuring out what to do after retirement was somewhat like that…knowing who were are so we can be even more of who we are.

We’ve all heard that list of what retirees should do upon retirement: Volunteer, Create a Bucket List, Clean the Garage, Travel, Baby-sit the grandchildren. But, depending on how your unique personality handled work/ is a much better way to determine how you’ll also handle retirement.

Each of us have different triggers for what gives us energy and makes our days happy for us. So I want to now introduce you to four retirees and maybe they’ll help us see how to look at our own post-working choices.

How to decide how to “retire”.

Meet William. He’s been a CEO of his own consulting business. He began as a junior executive in the insurance industry right out of college. He really enjoyed working hard each day and was known for making excellent strategic decisions. He enjoyed the stability and hard work that motivated him. His philosophy was work hard, you can play later. He had staff that ran the mundane parts, he used his energy and knowledge for the big picture in developing his company. He planned to just take it easy in retirement. He knew there would be plenty of time for golfing with his buddies. His wife would be happy to finally get some time with him, since for years the 60+ hours per week didn’t leave much time for the family. But in retirement that just wasn’t enough. His wife wasn’t thrilled to have him tell her how to clean the house and the golf buddies really weren’t around.

 William’s work adrenaline drug was being in charge. His life quote might have been; “You must remain focused on your journey to greatness.” By Les Brown

So in retirement, what should William do? William’s “being in charge” adrenaline urge still needs to be fed. Possibilities for him could include seeking out boards of directors that can best utilize his talents. Perhaps he will join the friends of the library group and run the booksale for them. Perhaps he might look into SCORE and be a senior consultant to a millennial beginning a start up. He will enjoy his retirement knowing he can still use those special skills of being in charge.

Now let’s meet Shirley. She’s an independent thinker who loves exploring ideas and building models to innovate projects. She’s an information junkie. She began in the accounting department of a bank after high school. She rose through the ranks, going back to school when the kids were little and started to really make a difference when the bank moved to a full technology model in the early ‘80s. She loves putting data together and her department is known for providing information that drives every part of the bank today. Shirley is a list maker and she has a To Do List for her retirement that would kill a horse. But, that’s not enough for her.

Shirley’s work adrenaline drug comes from organizing information. Her mantra might be “In God we trust. All others must bring data.” (Edward Deming)

So, in retirement, Shirley may begin her own online business. She knows how to handle technology and can help others see the benefit of collecting data to improve their businesses. Or perhaps she’ll work part-time helping during tax season. Shirley needs information to keep her lively, without an abundant amount of information for her to process she’ll feel useless.

Now here’s Renee. We’ve all met Renee. She has been a human resources administrative assistant for over 20 years. She has enjoyed matching her employer’s needs with the talents of employees she has found. She always enjoyed planning the staff parties and annual picnic and she was always the first one with a get well card ready to be signed by the entire office. Making sure the folks in the office all got along was an amazing talent and kept the company always winning awards for customer service. Her friends tell her that she’ll be thrilled to have all that time at home to read and work on her garden.

Renee’s special adrenaline drug at work is social interaction. “Relationships are all there is.” Meg Wheatley

So, in retirement, Renee needs to make sure that she doesn’t just stay home. She needs to be involved with people; people at church, people at the food bank, people in her neighborhood. Isolating herself will really make retirement difficult for her. The more the merrier for Renee.

Lastly, let’s meet Paul. Paul’s career has been varied. He’s been a mechanic, a driver, a salesman, and a chef at the local food truck. Paul valued freedom in his work. He liked setting his own hours, setting his own day. Paul knew what would destroy retirement for him…boredom. Being easily bored, Paul needs to have many projects in the fire.

Paul’s special adrenaline drug at work is risk taking. “We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand – and melting like a snowflake.” — Marie B. Ray

So in retirement, Paul’s the guy with the bucket list. He’s made one probably every year. He doesn’t actually do the items on the list, but just being able to dream of something new and different gives him a thrill. Paul will try anything and everything in retirement. The worst thing for him is having to only do one thing, he needs the thrill of adventures.

So what do these four people tell us as we look towards retirement. Mostly that there is no one way, no magic bullet to making your bonus years your best years.

Looking at what made your work life good for you is a start. So here’s four ideas.

1.   Take a personality test. You’ll find lots doing a google search for personality tests. From the formal Myers Briggs to the fun what kind of puppy are you, you’ll discover what makes you tick. Where do you get pleasure in what you do?

2.   Journal. Regardless of whether you’re a take charge, information junky, social interactor or risk taker, take a few moments each week and just write in a journal what you’ve been thinking about. The sooner you start writing, the more you’ll have to think about retirement is really upon you.

3.   Ask your family, friends and co-workers what they think your adrenaline drug is? You just might be surprised at some of their answers.

4.   Get a pack of post it notes. On the first one write the question, “Who Am I?” Tack it up above your desk or on your mirror. Keep the post it note pack handy and every day add a few words as an answer and stick that up as well. Maybe…phrases like Kind, Hard Working, Lazy, Good family person might start to cover your wall. That’s the real question isn’t it. Not what will I do when I retire, but the quintessential question of Who Am I?

Discover what makes your life exciting by remembering what it is that fuels your life. Then remember to feed your life so that you’ll always say, your retirement was the best thing that ever happened in your life.

Need help in understanding your retirement personality?

The post Do you know your “Work Adrenaline Drug”? appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

After a workshop I gave last week, I was talking with Leslie and she said, I’m a little nervous about this getting older thing. I’m 59 and lots of folks around me are beginning to retire. I ask what they think about retirement and after they say “wow, it’s great”, they say, the truth…I get a little bored.

So many life coaches suggest making up a bucket list. We’ve all seen that movie way back when where Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman work their way through their bucket lists, checking off big and little “I want to do before I die” items.

But, I’m hoping when you saw the title of this post you thought, I wonder what she’s going to say.

Getting older and even nearing retirement isn’t so much about another to-do list, your bucket list, it’s about being curious. We know that children are known for their curiosity. If you’ve spent any time around a 5-year-old, you hear a lot of why questions.  Why is the sky blue? Why don’t worms have toes? Why do I have to sleep on the bed and not under it.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but I do know that it will save anyone over 50. You have a lot of years ahead as you look towards your retirement, do you really want to tell folks it’s boring.

So, I talked to Leslie about shaking up her world even now before she retires, a practice plan of curiosity!

Now I’m a big believer in mindset. Carol Dweck wrote the book on it. She talks about two different mindsets.

She defines the two as “A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as… well, fixed. In other words, you are who you are, your intelligence and talents are fixed, and your fate is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you see yourself as fluid, a work in progress. Your fate is one of growth and opportunity.” Both can really be necessary, and both are a challenge.

So, what does this have to do with an adult who has had a few candles on their cake. Everything.

How much of your life right now is fixed? Having a routine for getting out the door each morning might be comforting. You get up, do your morning bathroom things, you dress, you eat, you pet the cat, kiss your partner and the day begins.

But, routine is the enemy of curiosity.

We are all such creatures of habit that we move through our life doing the same old same old. Now we’ve heard that’s the definition of insanity and so it might be.

So how could you be flexible in your morning mindset tomorrow? Perhaps you wake up 20 minutes early, perhaps you meditate for the first time, perhaps you use your non-dominate hand and brush your teeth, perhaps you have dinner for breakfast and give your partner a hug, a kiss and a I love you forever statement.

Changing up your morning changes up your day.

Five ideas for your strengthening your curiosity today!

1. Do you have an idea journal?

Leonardo DaVinci was a huge believer in this. Remember he’s the amazing artist who also invented flying machines 500 years ago. He carried a little idea journal with him. He said, “I roamed the countryside searching for answers to things I did not understand”. Carry a little notebook in your bag so that when something hits your fancy you jot it down to check it out later. Mine includes things like, try new restaurants in town, where is the closest resale shop, what’s geo-caching.

Later, when I have a few minutes waiting for an appointment I can google my latest “fancy” and see what I can learn. I have a place to look for curiosity items in my life.

The try new restaurants has turned into an alphabet game for me. I’ve now been to AC Hotel, Bear and Bottle, and Captain Bills…can’t wait to discover the next 23.

The where is the closest resale shop led me to google them and discovered there are 3 within 10 miles. Cool.

I’ve discovered geo-caching sounds fun. Like hide and seek for adults. If you don’t know about it, maybe put it in your idea journal.

You get the idea. Capture your curiosity when it happens and then it becomes fodder for learning later.

Also, capture your curiosities when you’ve found the answers. The more we become curious the more we find to be curious about.

Put a post-it note on your bathroom mirror saying, “How I be curious today?”

2. Go to an institution for the curious — The library, the bookstore, the music store, the museum. Whole buildings have been built as playgrounds for the adult who’s curious.

I don’t think it’s possible to walk into a library, etc. without asking I wonder? Pretty funny in my conversation with Leslie, she said she had a librarian in her life and wasn’t that the best. Librarians love questions, they love the search for the answer, they love curiosity, so give them a try and see what a librarian can share about your “I wonder – I’m curious” questions.

Our children’s museum in town is amazing. Twice a year they have what they call “Adult Swim” …all the kids out of the pool (or the museum) and it’s only for adults. Don’t wait to be invited though, go to a children’s museum and just walk around, ring the bells on things, see how things work inside an engine. If you’re really embarrassed adopt a kid for the day and take them. The same goes for the zoo or the waterpark. We’re just kids in grown up skin. Be curious.

3. Your phone smart or dumb. I love that I can carry around in my pocket an amazing device to keep me curious 24/7. My phone engages me with the world. I can get the latest radar for the storm that’s predicted (much better than a weatherperson I’d say). I have a Kindle app, so my books are always handy. I can listen to music. I can google anything at all. Anytime a question comes up, my friends laugh because they know my phone will be out and I’ll be googling.

My phone is smart, probably smarter than I, but even a non-so smart phone has potential for curing the routines of life. When was the last time you called you friend/son/daughter/or mother and asked them what they’re curious about? Phones are amazing for bringing you instantly into a different and more curious world.

4. Your five senses. We humans were built with curiosity radar systems. We can stop at any moment and ask what I am seeing, hearing, touching, feeling or tasting right now. How will you use your senses today in looking around your world?

Try this today. What can you see if you walk 100 steps out your door? What can you hear if you scan your radio dial three times? What can you touch if you squat down right now? What are you feeling…inside and out? And lastly, how about tasting something decadent. I just tried Trader Joe’s Mango Sorbet in chocolate balls…wow!

What if you set your alarm clock today for every three hours and you used your curiosity radar system?

5. Question everything. Become that 5-year-old child we were talking about before. Try the 5-why method. For every answer to a question, ask Why. Bet you’re thinking of some questions right now aren’t you. Why? Because just thinking of asking a question, produces a question Why? Because that’s how we get curious Why? Because that’s how we learn Why? Because our brain is engaged by asking a question and we might change the answers.

So, when I see Leslie tomorrow, I think I’ll have a better solution for her about not worrying about getting into a boring retirement someday down the road. I’ll challenge her to start today to be curious. I’ll challenge her to start today moving from a fixed mind set pattern into a flexible one. I’ll remind her to keep an idea journal, visit a curiosity building, use her phone, tap into her 5 senses and ask 5 why questions.

Curiosity did kill the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.

Let me know what you’re curious about.

The post Ditch the Bucket List — Be Curious! appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

The post Starting Over When You Thought You Were Done appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

You’ve all heard the phrase, junk in, junk out haven’t you. It usually refers to computers and if you don’t enter the data correctly, all you’ll get is junk.

I was listening to a talk a couple of weeks ago, It was from a National Speaker’s Association speaker who works with college students. His name is Judson Laipply and he has more energy than the students as he presents. But, he brought to the session an amazing framework for talking about change in our lives. I just had to share it with you.

I want to tell the story as I remember it about his “brother in law”.  We’ll call him Joe. Joe was quite heavy, over 300 pounds and only 24 years old. He watched his father who also was heavy try to walk up the stairs one day, and his knees and hips were racked with pain. Joe watched and said to himself. That will be me someday.

Now we all know that Joe at this point had lots of choices. Are you clicking them off in your head? One: he could just sit down on the couch again and start munching his chips and watching TV. Two: He could decide that he wanted to start a new diet tomorrow. So, he could wake up in the morning and head for one of those weekly meeting places. Or Three: He could just yell at his dad for being so slow. We all know these choices don’t we.

We can choose Inaction or Action or Anger when we see the need for change.

When you’re in a change transition like retirement, you have those same two choices. Just get in those comfy jammies INACTION or go out and hit that bucket list with a vengeance. ACTION, or just keep saying, how did this happen to me? ANGER.

But Judson spoke of another option.

For this one, I’ll need you to put a picture in your head of a big triangle. It’s divided into four different segments. Ok, Got the picture…big triangle with four sections. Good.

So to talk about Judson’s option as we begin at the very bottom of the triangle. We’re going to call that Input!

Listen to what Joe actually did after seeing his father struggle on the steps. Joe, did not do number 1, he didn’t return to the couch. Joe didn’t do number 2 and strike out in the morning for a meeting. Joe didn’t yell at this dad. What Joe did was change his Input!

He began to read health magazines. He got online and started to find support groups about eating well. He started going to new restaurants that only served healthy foods. He got a VitaMix blender and started to use the recipes they provided. He went to a new spice store in town and started to discover how to change the taste of food with herbs. What Joe did was changed the input into his brain about what it looks like, tastes like and feels like to be healthy. He didn’t think about the weight, he put new input into what was healthy.

Guess what happened. I bet you know.

Joe started to lose weight, the first 10, 25, 50 pounds started to come off.

He continued changing the input, by finding a walking group at the park center and started meeting other people who wanted to lose weight too. He  changed day by day the songs he started listening to in his ear buds. The ones called “Fight Song” and “I Can if I think I can”.

Joe changed the input of what it meant to be healthy and his life changed.

Which leads us to the second level of our triangle picture. Beliefs and Values. By changing the input, Joe began to realize that he was a healthy person. He started to value his health. He started to understand that he was acting out of a core belief that he was worth being healthy and that his family would benefit greatly for his efforts.

Through the change of input, his value related to being healthy changed big time.

So up the triangle we go. The third part of the triangle is ACTION. Here’s where Joe really excelled. Now he did want to continue losing weight. He began training for a 5K walk. He did go to the local fitness center and begin working out. He hired a personal trainer and began building muscle to replace the flab. He took action on his new beliefs about being healthy could benefit from the ACTION of a gym.

See the difference here. Input on health…Beliefs on his being healthy…lead to action.

So, what does our triangle tell us as we enter retirement years, our bonus years.

Many retirees start with that wonderful list of action items to be accomplished since they’re no longer working. Whether it’s visiting the grandchildren, painting the garage, or just doing nothing, we have a list in our head of how we will take ACTION in our new-found freedom.

But, moving up the triangle to number 3 ACTION is just like Joe starting out at the gym. We all know how long that lasts don’t we. Many of us, like Joe, head out with a New Year’s resolution to the gym and by January 15th it’s all over.

Starting with ACTION without starting at the beginning of the triangle INPUT is a recipe for failure in weight loss or retirement.

Change the Input, it changes the beliefs and values, it causes ACTION, sustainable action to be made and leads to top of the triangle change.

So how can look at changing our input in the early months of retirement.

So let’s talk about Jill. She like Joe had a hit the head Dah moment when she watched her mom retire.

Her mom had been a teacher for 32 years. She loved her 2nd graders, but the school district had a mandatory retirement age of 65. The first few months were fine, her mom visited the grandkids and enjoyed being home. She enjoyed having her evenings free as well, not having those stacks of papers to correct each night.

Her husband was thrilled to have her home, he had retired from the bus company 3 years before hand and was excited that his wife would now be joining him for the afternoon game shows on TV. He went out and bought matching rocker recliners so they’d be comfortable. He would tape hours of Wheel of Fortune or Family Feud so as not to miss a single episode.

Jill’s mom got depressed. Folks didn’t really know that but that’s what happened. She saw her future in those chairs and decided that wasn’t her future. She ended up getting cancer, and after only 6 months of literally being in the rocking chair, she died.

Jill as she approached her 65th birthday had a choice of how she would view retirement. Choice 1: Know that retirement was death by rocking chair and accept that INACTION or Choice 2: Start her bucket list items ACTION.

But, just like Joe, if Jill starts on level 3 of our triangle ACTION all will fall apart.

She needs to change the input.

Jill started to think about what aging really means. She began thinking about what dreams she had in the past. She started listening to TED talks on creativity and aging. She started listening to great podcasts like …oh, yeah, Retiree Rebels where the message is retirement is not our parent’s retirement. She started to change the input to her brain that aging and retirement are not death, they are stages of our life. She changed the word itself, retire to rewire, reinvent, rediscover. She told people that she’s not retired, she’s actively living her life.

This new input changed her belief and values about what her life could mean in her bonus years. She began to see that anything was possible as she planned for her next 20.

Which lead once more to the third level of the triangle. ACTION. Now understanding that aging is natural, no new make up or tummy tuck was necessary, she actively sought out new experiences. She joined a gardening group that toured the state’s botanical sites. She started reading at the public library to story hour kids. Her belief that retirement was not dying, lead her to the action that her life can have meaning.

So, listening to Justin’s speech really had me thinking. I’ve made a triangle that I keep on my refrigerator now. I keep asking myself what new input can I do today. Sometimes it’s changing the channel on my radio as I’m driving along. Sometimes, it’s taking a right turn at the intersection I always took a left at. Changing input doesn’t have to be huge, but it does change one’s perspective of one’s neighborhood or one’s life.

I’ve had an INPUT Adjustment. I hope you’ll discover yours today as well and continue to INPUT, INPUT, INPUT so your actions in change will hold.

The post Do you need an Input Adjustment? Thinking about change. appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

The post Sometimes you just have to trust the cape appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

I don’t know about you, but I heard the phrase “Watch Your Language” a lot growing up. There were certain words and phrases that my mother just wouldn’t allow in her home.

“Shut up” was a big one that we weren’t allowed to hurl against a sister. Telling someone to silence their thoughts was just not acceptable to my mom. And she was right.

She always knew that how we use words, how we express our thoughts and what those words can do to another is important.  Remember the “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” Mom knew that words do hurt us. She would say, Watch Your Language.

Thoughts and Language

And we know that our thoughts become our language. So how many words and thoughts are we talking about?

Did you know that we have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day?  Yup, that’s a lot of think’ng going on.

Another interesting statistic is that 98% of them are the same ones we had yesterday.

We’re creatures of habit, aren’t we. We say the same things to ourselves day in and day out. That’s what forms our memories and our cranial pathways. And on some level that’s a good thing. It allows us to get out of bed, make coffee and drive to the bank without thinking. We constantly tell ourselves the same stories, give ourselves the same directions.

Now you’ve probably seen this in action when you introduce yourself to someone, or at a family holiday dinner, or you hear your kids saying to you, “Mom, you already told me that”.

Now this works fine if you’re telling your puppy to sit down, or you’re telling your partner that you love them today, but really this same old, same old thinking can be deadly. Yes, deadly.

Because in monitoring our thoughts, our internal language, what bothers me most is that researchers suggest that 80% of those nearly 60,000 thoughts are negative ones.

We fill our minds with thoughts of I can’ts, I mustn’t and oh no’s so often we set our cranial pathways in our brains to just think poorly about ourselves. We have a host of gremlins that constantly monitor our lives and knock us down.

We hear a lot about bullying in the news these days. Bullying has been defined as being exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions. Yup, that’s what we’ve been doing to ourselves. 80% of our thoughts are negative.

The biggest bully we’ll ever meet is right in the mirror.

So what have you been thinking lately.

Perhaps you say to yourself, I can’t find a new job, I’m too old to try to learn how to swim, the computer is just too complicated for me, I don’t know what iTunes is. Or how about these, I hate those wrinkles on my face, I’m slowing down, I’m too fat, too slow, too downright old.

What’s your Mindset?

Dr. Carol Dweck is a Stanford University psychologist whose research on achievement and success discusses a concept she calls Mindset.

Carol suggests in her work that we approach our lives, our work, our families and yes our thoughts in one of two ways. We can use a Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset. Have you heard about this?

Here’s how it goes:

A Fixed Mindset is one where all our thoughts and actions are… well Fixed. You go through life thinking you have a certain amount of intelligence and ability, your personality and your actions are the same way they always were. You are who you are. Your fate in life is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure.

Now in contrast to that, Carol suggests that some folks have a Growth Mindset. Thinking this way about yourself makes your life, your actions and your thoughts fluid, changeable. You are a work in progress. You’re a blank canvas; every morning ready for paint.

How do you look at some new task. A simple one might be opening a new 1000 piece puzzle, or a more challenging one might be getting a new cell phone.

For a person with a fixed mindset they would say, I’ll never get this puzzle done, or I just want my old phone back, I don’t need to learn how to do face-time with the grandkids, let them call me.

For someone with a growth mindset, they look at both of these same events as opportunities to stretch and grown what they already know. To build on something, to become successful. They say: I can’t wait to see how this turns out.

See watch your language.

In Dr. Dweck’s theory on the growth mindset, midlife and even retirement is a phase of life that allows us to look for new challenges, explore new vistas, knowing that our attitudes, and our intelligence can still be changed and grow. This in my work is what I call the “ditch the rocking chair theory”.

3 Awesome Life Changing Words

So in working with Carol’s theory I came up with 3 words to help you develop a Growth Mindset if you want one.

Are you ready? Three words you could try every hour the rest of today and see what you think. Watch your language I say! Here’s the question:

What if I?

Did you catch it… What if I  That’s it…just three words.

What if I learned more about the new piece of software the company is putting in? What if I learned to cook a new recipe? What if I listened to a different radio station in my car today?

What if I….that’s the growth mindset.

Carol asks us to take this growth mindset into our language, to change the way we talk to ourselves, to stop the bullying.

So Watch Your Language

Here’s a few examples. I think you’re getting the idea here.

I can’t do that (fill in the blank, exercise, compute, etc)….instead Watch you language and say What if I just walked for 20 minutes today for exercise? What if I watched a YouTube on learning face-time?

Or  I will never do this, women, VP’s, etc. don’t do this.  STOP watch your language and say, What if I rethought how I think just for today. What if I …believed I could get lighter, stronger, go to the doctor, read that book?

Or I hear this a lot, usually meant to be a joke…I’m having another senior moment, again stop watch your language and say What if I thought about another way to remember my keys?

Our language, our communication of our 60,000 thoughts, our ability to work our lives from a Growth Mindset are critical as we move day by day regardless of the number of candles on your cake.

Each day is not the same as it was. We know that. It’s not the same day as it was yesterday, it’s a new day ready for a new mindset.

So I encourage you to explore more by reading Dr. Carol Dweck book calledMindset: The New Psychology of Success.

I hope you won’t “shut up” and start watching your language so you can change your life into the open mindset of your life.

What if I published on LinkedIn and someone actually commented and liked my words.  Worth a try!

The post Watch Your Language: The biggest bully we’ll ever meet is right in the mirror. appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.

I was having coffee with a new client at a coffee shop in town. It was the kind that tried to replicate an old coffee shop of the 1800’s. Fine bone china, doilies, finger sandwiches and little pieces of chocolate.

She asked, “How did you start your business?”

Simple question.

My answer was also simple, “It started with a quote.”

My company’s name is Life is a Daring Adventure. This Helen Keller quote has been my mantra for over twenty years. I’ve embellished it a little by adding the words, and I’m not done yet, but I think Helen would approve.

After I started walking out to my car, moved by the nostalgia of the coffee shop, it hit me that at times of choice and decision many of my life quotes pop up to assist me. They provide me inspiration, fearlessness and comfort in times of stress.

Is that true for you?

We don’t know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future

My eighth grade teacher thought that each class should have a life quote. Being a religious in a Catholic school, teaching 100 students that year, she wanted us to know that the future was unpredictable but centered in her religious perspective. I still remember this. And perhaps that’s why this post is being written about the need for life quotes. I wonder if the other 99 students remember.

There’s no place like home.

I’m a huge Wizard of Oz fan. Just ask me to sing a few bars and I’ll karaokeSomewhere over the Rainbow at a moment’s notice, while clicking the ruby slippers I got for Christmas. You might cover your ears, but Dorothy, Toto and I have walked that yellow brick road forever. The message of a land over a rainbow, of needing brains, heart and courage challenge me everyday.

I do believe there is no place like home, and that home is where those you love abide. That includes myself. I carry my home in my heart to share with those that may be homeless.

If an organism does not get new information, it will die.

I read this one rainy day in 1991. sitting on my screened in porch. My life was stagnating at the time. I was doing the same thing every day. Work, home, dishes, tuck in boys, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. This Margaret Wheatley quote found inLeadership and the New Sciences, changed my life. One phrase in one book, located on page 32, bottom right changed my life.

I didn’t want to die. I wanted to fill my mind and heart with all types of information. I went back to school and studied adult education, I met new people, I thought new thoughts. I was alive. It’s the same reason I keep learning today. If we don’t provide new information into our lives, just roll out the grass blanket over us.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

And so time passes and I found Helen Keller. I face daily a new future of change and constantly act as a free spirit in the presence of my fates. Life is indeed a daring adventure, and I’m not done yet.

______________________________________________________

These life quotes have provided me so much. Connection to parts of my past. Inspiration for those moments that life may look challenging. Hope for tomorrow.

Do you have some life quotes that have meant something to you? Where did you get them? How do you live them? I’d love to hear….

The post It all started with a quote appeared first on Life's a Daring Adventure.